Wednesday, September 28, 2005

What happened today

Today someone said something that made me feel good.."When we meet, I'm totally yours and you can do whatever you want to me".
Today I think I was mildly electrocuted.
Today my nephew asked me to take him out at 9.30 pm.
Today I missed 40 minutes of The Amazing Race: Family Edition.
Today I ate too much beef.
Today someone with a lot of potentials and in his late 30s or early 40s died of denggi.
Today as I was returning home it 'hujan disana sini".

Friday, September 23, 2005

Looking for Love aka Mencari Cinta

TV3's reality series Mencari Cinta has received some criticisms from members of the parliament this week. Before that the DPM did remark that this program does not really reflect any eastern or more specifically Malay values. My feelings towards this program is rather mixed. At one corner I find it entertaining, nevertheless, I do find it ridiculous.

The entertainment value I find from this program is the joy I get from seeing people getting eliminated, humiliated, and devalued. I guess this is one aspect of reality tv that has pulled me towards watching other series also such as AF, MI, Amazing Race, Survivor etc all involving elimination. Also, watching real life interactions instead of rehearsed and scripted ones has made these shows even more interesting to me.
I did watch Joe Millionaire, the Bachelor and For Love or Money a few times. However, soon I found them to be ridiculous that I refused to watch Outback Jack. I find the constestants vying for the love of either a man or a woman to be an utterly desperate lot. The guy in the 1st FL or M was a total arse and a jerk that any woman who chooses the guy over the 1 million deserves to be blungeoned to death for being stupid. So when TV3 announced that it will be running a similar show, my 1st reaction was "WHAT???". Can they actually pull it of? Well they did with a lot of criticisms of course. So I decided to follow the show to see who are the men trying to win the heart of this one lady. The 1st broadcast showed the interviews for the selection of the male suitors. To my surprise, one was actually a guy who likes other guys...hmmm. He was not chosen though. However, I saw also one guy, who happened to be selected, in the company of a guy who likes other guys....another hmmm.
Well anyway, why do I find this show ridiculous? First, what is so special about this woman that she deserves 10 male suitors? I think TV3 has failed to portray her as a worthy catch other than that she's able to cook, is soft-spoken and quite pretty. Can she read and understand the Quran well? Is she warm and pleasant to be with? Is she funny (1 characeristic I like)? Is she smart?If she is Siti Nurhaliza, then it's entirely a different case. Another thing is about her family. The same question I would like to ask, what is so special about her family that would really warrant someone to really want to be a part of? TV3 to me has portrayed them as a family who thinks too highly of themselves. The sisters are not special. They are not a bunch of people who have made considerable impact on humankind, nothing that I know of. What about the men's families. Are their input or decisions not worthy of anything? Can't they exercise their own perogative? Are they lesser human beings that the girl's family has the sole deciding power in this relationship? Can you actually find true love or your soul mate within a period of 3 to 4 months? How much can you really know someone if they are put there to compete againts others for affection within a short period of time? Mind you they get to see each other only during weekends. There are so much to know about a person, even the trivial ones. The show would make a lot more sense if the girl have known the men more than a year and has difficulty deciding who she wants to marry. Challenging, intellectual, spiritual, real and practical tasks given to the men would help her decide. Not challenges like dressing up a stuffed bear or killing others in a mock attack.
Here are my thoughts (RM 2.50) on the guys. Danny I think tried to hard to the point of becoming overly pretentious and annoying from the start. The 1st one who got booted out was simply annoying to watch when he speaks. The guy with the long hair is good looking but being a graphic artist, his financial capability is questionable. The chef, well, 'tak sesuai'. Zulfakar..hmm, I bet his friends teased him a lot because of his name. Azzahari, 'pun tak sesuai'. Khairul, I think his previous marriage was a factor. The mamak guy, well, he looks like he's quick tempered. You wouldn't want to live with such person for the rest of your life. My choice is actually Danial. I think he is a nice guy, with a good job and reasonably attracticve. Did I miss anyone? If I did, it shows that the person is insignificant.
Would I want to court the girl? No, I rather date two of the brothers-in-law. Fareed and the one who's in the police force...hehe. Don't mind the procuder too.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

My Life in the Hostel - Year 1

Aku ni tak ler pandai sangat masa sekolah rendah dulu. Jadi, tak lah dapat masuk sekolah asrama penuh. 'A' aku tak cukup masa periksa darjah 5. Apapun nasib aku baik dapat duduk asrama tapi pegi sekolah biasa di ibukota bawah program anjuran kerajaan negeri aku. Tersangat happy aku masa dapat tawaran sebab dapat duduk asrama same kawan terutama sekali dengan best friend aku. Memang dari darjah satu lagi makbapak aku nak anak diaorang dok boarding school. Abang aku dapat masuk sekolah berprestij. Aku kira dapat masuk sekolah 'elite' tapi hostel tak lah elite.
So pada satu hari Ahad tahun 1970 lebih aku pun pegi register kat asrama. Asrama tu baru ada 2 batch pelajar. Aku batch kedua. Baru gak asrama tu. Punya happy aku masa tu, tersengih-sengih. Aku memang kureng happy dok kat rumah. Itu cerita lain. Aku tengok budak-budak lain macam tak happy aje. Heran gak aku kenapa. Ye lah kut, suasana rumah berbeza dari aku. So bilik aku tu ada dalam 12 orang, 6 katil double decker dan share dengan senior. Aku tak ingat ler aku sebilik dengan siapa sebab tak lama kami sebilik. Dalam seminggu kena rombak balik. Pasai apa cek tak tau. So esok Isnin ye aku bersiap sedia untuk pegi sekolah aku. Sebelum gi sekolah kami makan lunch dulu. Masa tu aku pun sangkut sapu tangan kat colar tak nak bagi terpecik kuah kat baju sekolah putih yg baru. Matron kat situ pun puji aku depan orang ramai, malu aku sebab lepas tu aku kena ejek pasai tu.
So kami ni naik bas pegi sekolah. Sampai jer kat sekolah aku terkejut dan jadi takut. Sekolah tu punya lar besar dan bangunan jenis colonial warna merah. Sekolah ni selalu digunakan dalam advertisment dan muzik video pun ada gak. Aku pun diam jer ari tu. PAstu kami terus ke dewan sebab ada assembly. Masa assemblytergamam lagi aku masa dia orang nanyi lagu sekolah. Semua orang tahu lagu tu melainkan kami. Pastu kami pun pegi ke bilik darjah masing2. Terkejut lagi aku sebab budak-budak dalam kelas tu semua muka-muka pandai dan kaya. Masa sekolah rendah dulu muka toye-toye jer termasuk aku. Maklum le bandar tak besar. Masa tu beg sekolah paling popular adalah beg kotak bercorak kotak2 merah. Itu macam status symbol ler buat time tu. Aku punya teringin nak bag macam tu. Ramai budak2 plak pakai spek. Aku pun teringin jugak nak pakai spek.
So aku pegi sekolah balik sekolah. Malam ada tuisyen. Hari Ahad ada kuliah subuh, semua kena pegi. Lepas kuliah ada senaman dan gotong royong. Gotong-royong nye kena cabut duri semalu, boleh tak. Ok takat ni, aku sambung bila senang

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Kemelut Blogging

Dalam minggu ini saya terbaca banyak mengenai blogging berkaitan dengan saman-menyaman dan maki-memaki. Dalam edisi Malay Mail baru-baru ini telah memaparkan dua bloggers yang akan menyaman seorang pembaca blog yang telah memberi komen berunsur perkauman. Dalam lapuran itu ada disenaraikan blog2 yang popular di Malaysia. Salah satu ialah ada lah blog yang saya baca hampir setiap hari kerana kandungan nya menarik pada saya. Hasil dari lapuran Malay Mail itu kandungan blog itu telah di 'delete' oleh sebab2 tertentu. Ada blog lain yang saya baca pun telah di deletekan kerana ada sorang pembaca telah ugut untuk expose isi kandungan lucah blog itu dan akan menyimbah asid pada tuan punya blog. Blog yang satu lagi yang saya kerap baca sedang 'subtly' kutuk-mengutuk dan maki-memaki antara satu sama lain.
Tak tahu lah apa saya nak kata. Blogging ini ada lah satu avenue untuk mencurah isi hati dan macam-macam lagi. Tapi ia boleh di gunakan untuk lain-lain maksud pula. Bahaya juga berblogging ni

Monday, September 19, 2005

Me and My Ambitions

Remember when your primary school teachers had to fill these green (was it green?) and blue cards. One of the entries was a question on what would you like to be when you grow up, namely your ambition. The standard answers were either a doctor or an engineer. I knew back then what being a doctor was about but was never quite sure what does an engineer do except build bridges.

Well, being a doctor was really one of my ambitions and I did tell my mom I wanted to be just that. Surprisingly, she didn't look too happy. Perhaps working in the hospital has informed her well about what being a doctor entails: long working hours, 24 hrs on call, cranky patients, etc.
But when I was much younger, maybe 5 or 6, I wanted to be an 'ustaz'. I really don't remember this but this is what my mother told me. Looking back I believe I did say what I said because I was living in an area where there were a lot of would be ustazs. I was living very very close to a very very well known and established religious school. It was perhaps the MCKK of religious school back then in the 60s and 70s.
Later in life I wanted to be a pilot. My brother had to spoilt that by saying being a pilot is like being a driver or a chauffer, except you get to handle a plane and get paid a lot more. There's some truth in what he said. In fact, if by some reasons you have to quit being a pilot early in your career, you are left with no paper qualification except your SPM.
I had this notion that I can draw well when in actual fact I can't. So I decided one day that I want to be an architect. Influenced by my artistically talented friend, I wanted to design olympic stadiums and airports. He went on to become one, but I had to give up that thought because some people told me that I had to be good in maths also. I'm not good at drawing and not good at figuring how to calculate complicated formulas either.
Right after SPM I decided I wanted to work in the business world. I was not sure what kind of job you get to do with a BBA other than being a manager. I had that ambition almost realized, except that I had to wear school uniform again and be at a well known boarding school for the matriculation program. I did not register at that school and luckily for me I was offered a scholarship to go overseas.
However, the kind of work that the degree I was supposed to complete prepares me for was a job that was never an ambition I would ever consider. It was a job that requires a certain kind of personality and certain skill which I did not posses. Friends and relatives told me back then that this line of work has no 'prospect'. Only my parents and siblings were supportive. Others were not supportive or encouraging except for one kind and smart boy, Azam, who told me that I could be a ____ one day. The allure and thought of going overseas and living in the US abled me to postpone the fears of having a 'prospectless' career when I come back to Malaysia 7 years later.
Today I'm still in that line of work. I cannot really say I like doing it but I can say I'm comfortable with it since I've done it for almost 17 years. I am also now what Azam told me I could one day become. Thanks Azam, wherever you are. Wish I could convey this to you and kiss you at the same time.
Given the chance I would rather be a chef. Would like to go all over the world and learn all kinds of cuisines. Get to meet Rocco or get to travel and taste all kinds of food like Anthony Bourdain gets to. Perhaps meet a stocky chef and live happily ever after with him. Hehehe...sigh.

September 27 1981

On this date 24 years ago, me and 22 other 16-19 year olds left Terminal 2, Subang Airport for the U.S. for our tertiary education. It was a day I believe to all 22 of us (1 has died) a memorable day. To me it was also a day that of a lot of first times or that leads to a other first times.

It was the first time:
  • I wore a suit. Never had a suit before and mine was made in Singapore. Took less than a week to tailor.
  • I flew in wide bodied aircrafts (Airbus 300, Boeing 747) in long haul flights. Took two days to reach the US. Before this I've been only on 45 minute flights to Penang and Singapore.
  • I stayed in a hotel and it was a Holiday Inn in Japan.
  • I mingled with girls as my primary and secondary schoolings were in all-boys school. Had no problem getting along with girls.
  • I smelled the smelly air of Hong Kong, saw Taiwan, step foot on Japan's soil and lived in a foreign country namely the US.
  • I ate Japanese rice which is actually ' fat'
  • I didn't have to wear a uniform to school.
  • I learned to pay bills, utilities, rent and all
  • I felt the cold weather and saw snow
  • I came to know of long john and wore them
  • I ate poach eggs
  • I saw American Indians
  • I saw dubious looking Black brothers
  • I realized Americans talk very fast, not like those on the telly
  • I had roast beef sandwich
  • I used travellers check
  • I opened a checking account
  • I went to K-mart. " Attention K-mart Shoppers", "There's a blue light sale on..."
  • I slept in a sleeping bag
  • I, adults movies
  • I realized that there's humping in sex
  • I watch adult movies
  • I watch soap operas
  • I experienced the longest fasting days, from to 9.30 pm
  • I learn to drive and got my license
  • I skied
  • I pumped petrol
  • I had credit cards
  • I lived alone
  • And many more I can't recall. Will probably document in another entry

However, there was also a last time for me. It was the last time I saw my grandmother who I love more than anything else in this world. I'm was prepared to die anytime for her. She was the nicest woman I have ever known and the best cook ever. Anything she made tasted good even if she hadn't put salt in it. I hope to see you Tok in the hereafter. Alfatihah for you my lovely Tok.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Another bone to pick with TmNet

My dial up connection is an absolute CRAP. Tolong, apa nak buat...

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

A bone to pick with TMNet

TMNet buat promosi pasal streamyx merata-rata. Pergi saje mana-mana supermarket ada jer mamat atau betina bagi brochure dan ajak register guna streamyx. Nak aje aku maki 'hatok ko ke b***t ko' tapi tak sampai hati sebab lepas tu mesti aku menyesal punya sebab bukan salah dia orang. Dah dua kali aku register online dan satu kali register kat Telekom nak guna streamyx tapi ni jawapannya:
'tmnet streamyx is not available at your area currently.'
Yang membuat lagi aku bengang ialah CC tak jauh dari rumah aku tu dapat plak streamyx. Rumah aku ni TMnet kata lebih 5km dari dia punya apabenda entah. Pastu kawasan perumahan aku ni bukan ler setinggarden, banyak golongan professional duduk. Tambah ler lagi satu benda tu. Gerenti banyak langganan punya. Dah lebih setahun aku tunggu streamyx kat rumah aku tapi masih tak de lagi. Dua-dua dial-up aku, Jaring and TMNet, macam suek jer. Sat-sat mati, kadang2 susah masuk. Kalau dapat connection pun kadang2 20 saje speed connection. Pernah cuba Jaring wireless. Tapi masaalah geography pulak. Ada bukit2 block pulak. Apa nak buat, sabar jer ler.

Man and the size of his...

For more than 30 years I was under the impression that a man's***is proportionate to his overall size. So, the bigger the man is the bigger I assume his***is and vice-versa. This assumption developed because that's what I saw among my friends and acquantances. However, I later discovered that this is not always the case. There are men who are taller and bigger built than me who have***smaller or about the same size as mine. One person I met who is bigger and who is of South Asian origin (two reasons to have a big****) isn't that well endowed or William Hung (say this name fast).
Another assumption that I had was that overweight or chubby men will for sure have small *** Again I was wrong. I met one guy who's big and chubby but his...was as big as those of porn stars. Another man I met, who happens to be married, has a rather small***when it was soft, but once it grew, it became long and beautiful.
This one I heard from others. Skinny men have big .... This I have yet to discover but I trust those who have educated me on this
Whether size matters***well, it depends***if it's big it'll be nice for certain activities, if it's small, it's suitable for other actions. If you're deeply in love with someone for his personality, his heart then I believe it doesn't.


I have always been interested in cars but purely for their aesthetic value. Don't know much about the engine, don't know much about allignment. All I know is to fill up the tank and sent for lubrication and other maintenance when it needs servicing. About four years ago I bought an SUV because it looked really nice. However, since then the car has never failed to completely shut down on me at least once a year. Later I discovered that make is known for that problem. The last straw was when it died in the middle of a busy intersection and in the middle of the day. So I sold the car and booked a MyVi. I discovered while trying to sell the car that it was what 2nd car dealers called 'kereta sejuk', simply means a car that does not sell well. It'll be in the lot parked for months or maybe years.
A lesson that I learned from this experience is that when you decide to buy car consider its resale value. Certain names do not sell well meaning you get back less than half what you paid originally and many dealers will simply send you away. This is all decided by the Malaysian market who is in influenced by a lot of things. I hope someone has done a research pertaining to 2nd car buying patterns among Malaysians. So for now I think I'll be buying only national cars like Perodua (my Kancil has never failed on me) or a Honda or a Toyota. I have to wait for my MyVi for 5 months. I read in the papers the waiting period is 7 months. I hope I have made a wise choice to get a MyVi and I think I have.


I blog because others have blogged. I blog because I need to document my thoughts. I blog because I need to document my desires. I blog because I just feel I need to blog.